How Combustible Are You?

Chers Amis,

Some chemicals are unable to play nicely together and should not be allowed in the same test tube - at least at certain temperatures; they are just too combustible. Take water and sodium. They co-exist very well in oceans all over the world (with the mediation of chlorine), but according to chemists, "If you drop sodium in water, you'll see it dance as a fireball on the surface." It is like that at my house sometimes with the clash of personalities. I am very much a meloncholy-choleric by temperment, I like order and eschew chaos whenever possible. Rules are not my enemy and coloring inside the box doesn't crimp my style. I just want to get things done effectively and efficiently without confrontation. Pure fun helps the medicine go down. Caddie is my direct opposite. She is phelgmatic and sanguine. Rules? What are rules but gravel in my shoes, which I shouldn't have to wear anyway! The purpose of life is to have fun whether or not you are accomplishing anything that can be checked off on a list.

At most temperatures we work very well together. At others. . . On days when I am trying desparately to keep the house from totally degrading, when I have to do school, grocery shop, return books to the library, prepare for witnesses - I mean houseguests, when I really don't want math manipulatives, felt board pieces and scraps of paper mingling on the floor, it gets very hot - and loud in the crucible. Luckily my sweet Scarlett is neutral - a noble gas. She rarely reacts and tempers all around her. Caddie's molecules speed up and she decides, like today, that she would prefer to sit in yoga position on the tiny painted chair in a corner, math balanced on the removable doggy door cover, than in her new desk. When reminded that she should sit in the desk she protests and moves to her desk chair (not at the desk but in the middle of the room) and uses the dog crate as a table, papers strewn about her. She cannot understand why I want her to sit at a desk, or wear shoes, or write neatly with the holes on the left hand side of the paper. What difference does the margin line really make in life? This makes me want to hyperventilate. No, it is not a big deal. It is silly, so why does it have to be a struggle. Why does it have to be so loud?

Some people find time to do their daily meditation before the kids get up. I find that a morning offering or spiritual communion is all I have time for and that I really need a mid-morning break for grace. Quiet reading time for them, prayer time for mom. It is a good reminder that none of this is about me. Why do I get so angry? Because I am trying to make the pieces fit according to my design, my way, my will be done. Oops. He graciously reminds me that I am here to serve, that flexibility is a virtue, that one of the beautiful things about homeschooling is that we can change approach mid-stream if we are willing. It is about educating not ruling. "Be still, and love deeply." Often I write a little code on my palm to remind me of the resolution that comes out of my meditation. I scrawled HUM - humility, understanding and mercy. A holy priest I know once joked that the HP in Hewlett Packerd stands for Humility and Patience. As I sat back down at my computer and glanced at my printer, its insignia reminded me that I have more to learn somedays than my children do.

Yes, Caddie, you do have to do neat work, respect margin lines, know how to sit in a real chair and wear shoes when ask to do so. But, I need to take a deep breath, do a little"spiritual yoga", be willing to bend, ask nicely, and HUM if I want to avoid explosions.

-- Marjorie